The husband is constantly on the side of the mother and always chooses her – how to behave? Sadness, Yes and Only, When the Girl Gets Married, Ayo expects an unexpected surprise in the form of the third character in marriage – the Mother-in-Law. You marry your beloved man, but in fact your mother-in-law, because she decides everything for him in your family.
Why does a husband listen to his mother in everything, and not his wife?
It is customary to call such men mother’s sons, because they completely obey the will of their mother, and are afraid to argue with her.
Such a Man Can say One thing Away from his mother, but as soon as her opinion and his will weigh on the scales, Then the mother-in-law will definitely win.
In life, such cases are common, in general, all parties suffer, but most of all goes to the girl who marries with pure intentions and does not suspect that she is already the third wheel in this triangle.
But what to do when a husband obeys his mother-in-law in everything, how a girl can save her family and limit the influence of her mother-in-law on her husband, these questions become burning for many when they find themselves in such an unusual situation.
Reasons for a close relationship between a man and his mother
The causes of weak will in relation to a reactive mother in a man developed in childhood. This behavior has been formed over the years and it is worth saying right away that it is built on a sense of guilt. A man feels that he owes his mother and is constantly in a state of guilt.
The reasons lie in his upbringing and in the role that his mother chose for him. Unfortunately, not all families distribute roles correctly and harmoniously. Often in a family where a woman raised her son herself, where her husband was a little emotional and close to her, she psychologically felt stress and a vacuum in the relationship.
A confused woman turns all her attention to her son and projects all her expectations on him as on her husband. Yes, this is a serious problem and it is a pity in this situation for a child who has been assigned such a difficult role.
The problem is that his mother is an adult and can assess the situation, make decisions herself, she has freedom, but the child does not. This is how a mother raises an unfortunate son who is emotionally and physically dependent on her.
Growing up, such a boy can have a lot of positive qualities, he can love, take care, but as soon as his mother interferes in his relationship, he will obey her in everything, even if he experiences strong feelings for his wife.
What if the husband only listens to his mother?
The problem may lie in the fact that the man and his mother will not see the obvious, for them their relationship is normal. Their relationship is built on many basic feelings, it is a complex interweaving of emotions, and duty.
Not all men decide to change their relationship with their mother, unfortunately, often their inner child turns out to be stronger than their “adult” personality.
What to avoid and how to behave better with your husband?
Psychologically you should try to solve a problem with your child. The ideal variant of the budget is that the concept of consultation and the degree of the psychologist.
If the wife proves that his relationship with his mother is not the norm, if he criticizes the already unhappy mother in his face, then she is at great risk of falling into the ranks of the outcasts. Produce this potom, it is on the psychologist that it is and it is mama, also on one side.
Criticizing the mother-in-law, you criticize him, he perceives the words in his address and does it unconsciously. Therefore, it is worthwhile to approach the solution of this issue carefully and competently, it is better if such work is carried out.
If the psychologist correctly, accurately and carefully helps him figure out from the very childhood memories where his feelings and decisions are, and where his mothers are, then perhaps he will be able to change.
The reason for his strong connection with his mother is an unresolved separation. Mom isn’t allowed to say that it’s in front of the world, and it’s not like that, because it’s against the sun. In any case, it is possible to break the attachment and dependence between the son and mother if you act carefully.
How to behave in that situation, no one knows. When you find yourself in it, the first thing that comes to mind is to state the obvious. As a rule, such conversations lead to a scandal and to an aggravation of relationships.
The family during this period is divided into two camps, on one side mother and son, and on the other side the daughter-in-law. Which side a man will eventually take depends on his personal qualities, temperament and true feelings in a woman.
No, that’s why it’s so important in this situation. If a person arrives in the role of a child, and her “adult” side has not matured, then he will look for a wife in a woman.
What should the conversation be like?
Psychologist’s recommendations on how to behave in a conversation with your husband:
- The conversation should be conducted in a calm and balanced tone.
The partner must be brought to a conversation with two adults, so tantrums and screams are excluded.
- No word on the subject.
Adhering to the first point, it is worth remembering that there is no place in the conversation for insults, for the words that humiliate pre-Childhood are new.
- First, you need to be open about your own feelings.
This is specific to those who do not want it. If, for example, a husband gives his finances to his mother, and she decides how to dispose of them, then it is worth discussing this right away.
- If you have a family, then questions about the budget should definitely be discussed.
Whilst there is a conflict, it is not necessary. The Family should have a common budget, if he wants to help his mother, then you can discuss together the Amount that your family can allocate.
- No contact is made between the conflicts, it is possible to enter two storage devices.
He needs to be given time, both for him and his mother-in-law to accept the situation. Separation of the foreign trade is carried out in an appropriate way and in a psychophysical way. Your husband needs understanding and support from your side.
In the Case When the Family is Divided into Two Fronts and the Husband is not on the Side of the Wife, Then the Questions, as a rule, are solved painfully for both sides. If a man does not hear and does not respect the opinion of his wife, then it will not be possible to achieve mutual understanding by force.
You need to turn on your feminine cunning and be patient, of course, if only you need a man, and you see potential in him.
All that is said is that it is written in other words in the history of “vospitaniya”. If he was not allowed to make his own decisions and take responsibility, then perhaps it is you who will show him how to do it right.
In any case, at the initial stage, you will have to take on the role of “mommy”. Step up spiritually and become independent. A man should feel support from you, and not suffocating love and suppression of his will.
More often you need to consult with your husband, showing that his opinion is important and valuable to you. Sometimes, when it is obvious to yourself that he is wrong, but the situation is not critical, let him make a mistake and do it himself. Sooner or later, he will feel how comfortable, reliable and cozy he is next to you.