The silence of a man in a relationship with a woman leads to a break. Silence is a cold war, a silent battle, a heavy enmity, in which dead silence acts as a weapon. This is one type of response to conflict or something unpleasant.
Sometimes, silence can play a positive role, but such situations are few. Much more often, silence deals a devastating blow and negative consequences for the relationship as a whole.
Problems should arise in the case of other people, including conflicts and unrelated people. People react differently: someone abruptly begins to sort things out, someone tries to calmly talk, someone takes revenge, and someone takes it and falls silent.
An individual, if he finds the situation unpleasant, is able to shut up even without explaining the reason, leaving the opponent to think about what he did wrong.
Why are people silent in relationships?
After that, it is difficult to understand, so that it is produced. Consider the possible reasons:
- As an attempt to reduce the degree of heat in a conflict.
Suppose the conflict has reached its climax and arrows of Anger and Aggression are flying between you, you do not hold back in expressions and offensive words. One of the partners decides to shut up.
First of all, in order to have the opportunity to calm down a little.
In this case, this is really necessary, because only a temporary lull can save you from rash words that will later be difficult to forget.
- Like a punishment.
In case of resentment towards their partner, some use silence in order to teach a lesson. It seems to them that such tactics can give rise to a feeling of guilt in the soul of a partner. In fact, often, the partner does not even understand what is happening.
Our views on the world around us and relationships tend to differ from those of the opposite sex. Therefore, if your loved one behaved in your opinion incorrectly, His point of view on this matter can be the opposite. And he will only be perplexed, and not feel guilty.
- in the form of manipulation.
Sometimes silence is used as a means to achieve what is desired. Let’s say you want your partner to agree to some event. He is not ready, you get offended and shut up. It is difficult for a person to stay in a tense environment for a long time and on is forced to agree with your conditions.
If the manipulation is successful, there is a chance that such behavior will be fixed in the relationship. That is, if the partner agrees under the pressure of Silence to Your request, You may resort to the systematic use of such a technique.
- As an attempt to escape from the conflict.
There are people for whom any showdown, even if the situation is calm and a simple conversation is ahead, is a reason to hide in “one’s own shell.” Don’t bother, don’t try and you won’t any see of the emotions, you should, and you’ll want to register on experiences
In this case, silence acts as a defensive reaction. Simply put, a person runs away from any manifestations and emotions. This attitude has been imposed since childhood, when parents did not allow their feelings to be broadcast to the world, because the etorah vyzhe zhenida left.
- as a product of education.
Silence in general can also be imposed by parents. When a person, being even in a positive environment for himself, prefers to silently spend time and not share anything personal.
- If the conflict cannot be resolved.
When the situation has reached an impasse, there are no thoughts left to resolve the conflict, the person falls silent from the inability to offer something to his partner. They say about such situations, “hands down”.
Anguished silence
Conflicts can also develop into open aggression, which carries a threat to life and health. Suppose a woman who lives with a tyrant husband, who has been subjected to physical or psychological violence for many years, in an acute situation prefers to remain silent so as not to provoke an already twisted spouse.
- Like waiting for the problem to resolve itself.
Sometimes the and person does not wait for the conflict to be resolved. On your own, this is done in a small way and there is a conflict with it. This is a childish infantile position in which he is not only incapable of taking responsibility for himself. No one on that partner is not preoccupied, it is on a person.
How to respond to silence?
If you have a part in it, you will have to wait until you have done it.
- As long as it is possible to do this in the face of the names, manipulators.
It is worth waiting until the manipulator stops its influence and in a calm atmosphere say that such a variant of the relationship is impossible, because you will be hurt by his reaction.
It’s definitely not worth giving an answer to his manipulation, because, unfortunately, then such a reaction is aggravated. PARTNER Will systematically use it in any unpleasant situation.
- If the partner tries to calm down with the help of silence.
In this case, it is worth resorting to reciprocity in this matter, because giving time to cool down is really neodymnoh. Another point, if ignoring each other lasts for several days, it is worth reconsidering your distance.
- If the partner is silent by nature.
There is no point in putting pressure on a representative of such a feature, and you won’t be able to teach him talkativeness. This is an innate trait. Try to explain that you would like to communicate more with each other. However, most likely you will have to accept his silence, it is unlikely that he will change dramatically.
- Give him a chance to be with himself for a while.
Sometimes men really need time to be alone, because it is by being with themselves that they are able to put their thoughts in order, put everything in order. But there shouldn’t be too much time. At the moment it is up to you and you want, you have to do it yourself.
- Learn to speak and negotiate.
Each conflict can be resolved without aggression or total silence. This requires a conversation. Calm, with an explanation of what you feel, what you think and with the ability to find a compromise.
When the relationship is calm and everything is calm, you can gently explain to your partner that silence hurts you very much, you are very worried at such moments and that you would like to get out of situations of misunderstanding in a different way. Perhaps on will hear you and want to meet you.
If you like to be quiet…
If you use silence in a relationship with a man, figure out the reasons for this behavior and try to follow some rules:
- Understand that silence is a destructive and destructive effect on your relationship.
- Try not to be offended by the little things, life is so beautiful and you should not waste it on empty insults.
- If something is unpleasant for you, it is better to tell this man directly, maybe he will hear you and there will be no reason for it.
- Be sincere and open. Do not lock yourself up, a close person is with you, trust him.
- In some moments it is worth understanding your partner. Don’t be selfish.
- Silence kills feelings. Slowly, slowly, but leads to a point where it will be difficult to hear and understand each other.
- Focus on the positive qualities of your partner. Everyone makes mistakes, but everyone also has many advantages that are much more expensive than unpleasant moments.
Don’t eat, don’t eat, don’t bother, don’t wait. Learn to speak, After all, in our World there is a problem where two people, without even trying to hear each other, did not save their relationship.
Conversation is the only sure way to find, return, resurrect and love again, someone who is really dear to you.
