what problems can be in a relationship with him and is it worth? Each person has a past that influences how he builds current relationships. However, if a man was married and has children from another woman, his past will actively intrude into the present and influence not only the actions of the man, but also you.
Do you know that in the case of a dream? Is it possible to move to another place? What should you be prepared for if you are building a relationship with a divorced man who has children?
What to pay attention to?
In society, many have a negative attitude towards such men, because there are attitudes: “Something is wrong with him”, “He will compare you with his ex-wife”, etc. In fact, they have nothing to do with reality. A man can compare a new girlfriend to a never married one, and most such individuals compare her to their mother.
And a divorce can have many reasons, and they are not always connected with the fact that “something is wrong” with a man. When deciding whether to start a relationship, you need to be able to abstract from social stereotypes and see what kind of person is in front of you:
- do you have feelings for him;
- does he inspire confidence in you, can you rely on him;
- what are the positive aspects in it;
- what are the negative aspects in it;
- how he treats you;
- what are his life plans and goals;
- What is his system of values and views on life.
The presence of an ex-wife and a child are already secondary issues, it is much more important to deal with the main ones. And just his life story will help you understand what kind of person is in front of you. After all, what he says is important, but much more important is what he does.
You need to pay attention to a few things.
- Who is to blame for the divorce
It is not necessary to prepare it in the device, it is necessary, it is necessary to process it. Actually it’s not that important. What matters more is who the man blames.
If he lists the shortcomings and mistakes of his ex-wife, accuses her of all imaginable and unimaginable sins, while denying his responsibility, this is an alarming sign.
Perhaps such a man, in principle, is accustomed to shifting responsibility to Other people, and this can extend to all areas of life. The truth is that there are always two involved in relationships, as well as in ending them.
And only adult conscious people with normal self-esteem are able to admit their guilt.
Relationship with a divorced man
- How does he treat his children?
This is another important indicator of what a man’s value system is and whether he is able to take responsibility. He can erase his ex from life, but you should be wary if he also easily forgets about his children.
This is especially important for a woman who herself plans to have children in the future. If he easily turned away from the child, you should not console yourself with the illusion that everything will be different with your common children.
- What is his relationship with his ex-wife?
If a man does not have respect for a woman with whom he has lived a significant part of his life and who is the mother of his child, if he constantly insults her, shares personal details with you, this should alert you.
A man should not love his ex and say that she is perfect, but it is also wrong to constantly say unpleasant things about her, especially to another person.
- Why did the divorce happen
If the reason was that the spouses could not agree, they saw family life differently, their feelings cooled down, their values changed – this is normal.
But if the reason was that a man is a dependent person, used physical violence, cheated, it is important to get rid of the illusion that he will be a different person with you.
Of course, in order to find out all this, you should not arrange an interrogation for a man or conduct a survey of his friends and relatives. If a person is ready to share with you, he will do it.
If this is the case, it is necessary to say that it is “perebolel” and that it is possible to see what is available. No later than the suggested names and frames that are available to you.
Pros and Cons of Dating a Divorced Man
The fact that a man has already been married and has children can have a positive effect on your relationship, as this suggests that he is not afraid of a “stamp in his passport” and is not a “convinced bachelor.” Also, such men are not afraid of fatherhood.
Such a person has experience of family life, which means he understands what difficulties may arise. However, it is important to pay attention to how good the previous relationship was.
The presence of a child can be an ambiguous indicator, because a woman has various fears, for example, that if he already has a child, he will not want to have them in a new family. To figure it out, just talk to a man and find out if he’s ready to be a father again.
But in such a relationship there are a number of shortcomings that you need to consider and immediately figure out if you can put up with them:
- a man will have to communicate with his ex, which can make you jealous and afraid that he is a chamois to her;
- if the ex-wife has not started a new relationship, the man may sometimes have to help her;
- the man will give part of his finances to the previous family;
- The budget will be as long as the rebencoma is, and it will be possible to do it in a small way.
Before starting a relationship, you need to honestly admit to yourself whether you are ready to put up with this and, at the same time, it’s bvchatyt bvchatyt. Do not think that you will be able to cross out such a significant part of a man’s life.
“Pitfalls” in a relationship with a man
When starting a relationship with a divorced man who is in contact with his children, it is important to understand that you will have to communicate not only with him, but also with his child. If you can’t accept it, then the relationship may deteriorate.
Therefore, wisdom and patience are needed. Instead of pulling the blanket over yourself, it is better to become an ally for your man:
- to encourage his communication with the child and to participate in it herself;
- make friends with his child and build a relationship with him based on respect and understanding;
- give up jealousy of the husband’s ex-wife and not enter into conflict with her;
- accept the fact that perhaps your husband’s relatives will compare you with his ex-wife.
On the one hand, it seems difficult to build a relationship with a divorced man, because there will be various “pitfalls” in them. But on the other hand, all difficulties can be solved if both of you want to be together, compromise and respect each other’s feelings.
It’s hard to find a man who doesn’t have any past, so all the problems that you can face because of an ex-wife can be even if she never had one.
In itself, the fact that a man was married is not good or bad, it’s just a given. And you yourself must decide whether you are ready to put up with it or not. Ishodi is that it is externally there, and it is lynchnosti muzhcin and some of the chuvstv, which is about the meaning of the word.