What to do if a guy does not want to live together – advice from a psychologist. You have been dating for a long time, but the man does not offer to live together. Although there is a very trusting relationship between you, they by no means move to a new stage. Let’s see why this happens and what to do in this situation.
Why does a man put off cohabitation?
It seems that adults who independently earn their living, meet for a long time, love each other, have tenderness for each other, but as soon as it comes to living together, the man is in no hurry.
Why is this happening? Psychologists say there are reasons for this. Let’s consider them.
- A man values the status of a bachelor
This is the most common and compelling reason why a man is in no hurry to live together, even with his girlfriend.
He had already lived alone for some time, learned to value his freedom, personal space. He has the opportunity to dispose of himself at any moment, to behave as he wants.
A man has his own established habits, he has his own idea of space, home comfort. He has a personal opinion about comfort, which rarely coincides with a woman’s. He has no desire to make changes to the established routine, to change the usual course of things.
Least of all, such an established bachelor wants experiments that are associated with the appearance in the life of a woman. He fears change. It is not easy for a man to adapt to another person, to his lifestyle, to accept a woman with his habits.
- The man lives with his mother and he is fine
If your chosen one lives with his mother for a long time, then he is comfortable in these conditions. And it doesn’t matter how old a man is 25 or 35. Such a man was spoiled in childhood. He has already grown up, but still remains a “mama’s boy.” He still gets all his mother’s attention and care.
Of course, if he needs entertainment, then he leaves home. No returns home to his mother. And in this neither the guy nor the mother see anything wrong. They are happy the way they live.
Such a man can sincerely love you, but it is good for him to be warded. He is comfortable with the role of a son. He is not ready for the role of a responsible man. Ego mom is not intended, not known, not required for home. Everything will give, bring. Such a man is too infantile for an independent life.
Why does the man not want to move in?
- The man does not want to take responsibility
The young man is not used to taking responsibility. In his free time he rides motorcycles, roasts meat. If there is no money, he also does not think much about it. Borrow from friends. Enough for a beer and a snack, more and is not required.
On an extra day off, he will not spend time with you, go fishing or stay in bed. It doesn’t matter, spend time with your loved one. On the other hand, there are problems with the zhenshine and the zhelaniyami.
He is always relaxed. He does not need to take responsibility for the girl. As long as you do not live together, then your problems are not his concern. On realizes that cohabitation imposes a number of responsibilities on him. He will have another life. Therefore, he tries his best to delay the process of living together.
- Cohabitation doesn’t matter to him
For a man, love is not important. Your relationship is stuck in one phase, there is no natural development. He has enough of what he has. He doesn’t need perspective. It’s not that he didn’t want to live together. He doesn’t understand what it’s for.
Such a man does not have his own personal desire for rapprochement. He doesn’t see the point in it. We went to a restaurant, made gifts, threw some money for a manicure. Why live together, he does not know.
- The man wants to do the best
The man is too responsible. He appreciates your freedom, love. If he does not have his own apartment, then he does not want to move to you. His self-esteem will fall, friends will tease. Living in a rented apartment is also not an option for him.
Such a man believes that he should provide you with all the best. Otherwise it is planned not in the future, in what is, on the other hand. He needs preparation for a life together where you will feel like a queen. He sincerely wants the best. In this case, the development of events depends on your delicacy. Done to the chosen one, that you want to participate in changes with him.
- The man had a negative past relationship experience
Perhaps the young man had a past bitter experience. He sought to create a happy relationship that crashed into everyday life. After he has you, he doesn’t want to repeat the past. In this case, the young man will delay the moment of living together as long as possible.
The man is afraid that your relationship will also not withstand everyday life, it will deteriorate due to trifles. In this case, if you are ready to share life with him, you will have to wait a bit until the issue of living together becomes the norm for him. He does not need to step over himself for this.
- Man not sure if he wants to live together
It may well be that the reason lies in the fact that the man does not see the point in cohabitation in advance. He enjoys spending time with you, but has no desire to live together. This is not part of his plans.
What to do if a man does not want to live together?
Talk to a man, forgetting about claims and demands. Tell him directly that you would like to live together, ask why he is not ready to move the relationship to a new one. During the conversation, reveal the advantages of living together. Make it clear that you need to find out if he is the man with whom you are ready to connect your life.
Don’t go up loud. Do not stoop to reproaches and accusations. Speak for yourself, bring the chosen one to the dialogue. Don’t be afraid to hear the truth. Clarify about the seriousness of his intentions, if not now, but after some time. Specify after what, maybe it’s 20-30 years in his vision. Are you ready to wait further?
If a man does not seek to live together, then such a conversation will be more pleasant for him than his idea that you are trying to drag him into the registry office.
If a man does not seek cohabitation, then it is necessary to understand the reason for this and act in dependence. When the reason is the desire to create a material base, then it may really make sense to wait. When it is convenient for him to spend time like this, then it is worth considering the need to continue such a relationship.