Why a man refuses a relationship with his beloved woman and a family with her? It seems to people that love will overcome any obstacles. No in life, this is not always the case. Even loving people make mistakes, hurt each other, can’t stop fighting.
Sometimes men refuse relationships even with the woman they love. Do you want to do it and is it possible to lose it? From the point of view of psychology, there are 3 reasons why a man does this.
Problems in other areas
Even if a man is in love, he can refuse a woman, because communication with her does not make him happy, but, on the contrary, he feels that he is losing self-confidence and personal integrity.
This happens if in a relationship:
- many claims, scandals, exactingness;
- if there is a conflict of values, for example, he wants children, and the girl is a convinced childfree, or vice versa;
- one of the partners occupies a dominant position, shows signs of toxicity, abuse;
- a woman takes on the role of a mother who educates, criticizes, compares a man and tries to remake him;
- financial and domestic problems appear;
- a man and a woman do not have the skill to resolve disputes that end in resentment, anger and discontent, and not constructive solutions;
- force majeure circumstances appear – moving, bankruptcy, illness, etc.
If there are problems in this area, it is not possible to make a compromise by entering it into the box.
What to do in such a situation?
If you want to save your relationship, you need to stop trying to prove yourself right. You need to talk like two adults. Respectfully listen to the partner’s opinion, convey your own.
Soberly assess the situation. Are you ready to change so that you stay together. Is he ready for this? Speak to the problems and jointly to those who are reschedule.
Newness in yourself
Sometimes, having met the woman of his dreams, a man is not ready to be with her, because he is haunted by the thought “I’m not good enough for her.” He is sure that sooner or later his beloved will leave him and, in order not to wait for this moment, he refuses his beloved woman.
How does a man’s love work?
Priznaki new in yourself men:
- he constantly asks the opinion of others about himself;
- he is afraid to make a mistake;
- he does not take the initiative, but prefers to be like everyone else;
- he often experiences groundless jealousy;
- he constantly calls and writes to his beloved, thinks about her, waits;
- he painfully perceives any quarrels, tries to adapt to his beloved.
If he feels that he is not worthy of a woman, he begins to convince himself that she is with him out of pity or until a Better Option comes up. These thoughts cause him mental anguish.
In the end, the discomfort becomes so strong that he decides that it is better to abandon the woman he loves than to continue to live in fear that she is about to leave him.
What can be done in such a situation
If you have noticed signs that a man is not confident in himself, then in order to save the relationship, you need to help him increase his self-esteem.
By praise, admiration, approval, faith in him, you need to help him strengthen his thoughts day after day – you want to be with him, you love him and you won’t go anywhere.
attachment trauma
Psychologists mostly know about this reason. Imagine a situation, you meet a man, you start to communicate, get closer. You feel good together, you seem to be made for each other.
You know for sure that there are no problems in your relationship. You do not suppress each other, do not use. On the contrary, in communication there is passion, respect, and spiritual intimacy.
You should see it on your own and you will notice that it is not important to small components. He is self-confident, self-sufficient, established as a person and a professional. On no account of the rodents, it is possible to do so, you must pay attention to the results.
You think that this is real happiness. A man inspires you with a sense of security and reliability, you are ready to connect your fate with him and you know that.
And suddenly he starts to move away. He says that a lot of work, problems. Or finds any reason to leave. In this one, you are in disarray, you don’t understand why this man refuses the relationship.
If the described situation is close to you, then it is likely that this person has an avoidant type of attachment.
John Bowlby identified 4 types of attachment, which are formed on the basis of a child’s relationship with his mother and have a serious impact on how he will build his interaction with the opposite sex.
One of them is the avoidant type of attachment. Such children grow up with a coldly distant mother, often left to their own devices. From a young age, they are independent, reasonable, able to control themselves.
Growing up, such people:
- succeed in their careers;
- often have their own dwelling and are quite independent;
- have the ability to adapt to difficult circumstances;
- be careful not to wear it to the post office, not to the dog;
- are quite stingy with EMOtions and rarely lose self-control.
But they have a significant drawback. They are afraid of emotional intimacy with another person. Since their mother rejected them, paid no attention to them and showed indifference, such people got used to believing.
They are afraid that it is worth opening up, as a loved one will immediately betray. They are afraid of becoming dependent, they are afraid that they will not be able to live without another person.
In adulthood, they exhibit very characteristic behavior in relationships. They easily approach people, but as soon as they feel that they have deep real feelings, this causes a strong irrational anxiety.
It seems to them that such closeness is dangerous and will only bring pain and suffering. To avoid it, a person, realizing that he is in love, finds a reason to end the relationship while he was sick.
What to do in such a situation?
If you don’t want to lose this man, but you realize that he has an attachment injury, just let him increase the distance between you, but do not lose contact.
You will have to Get used to the idea – it will take a long time for a man to realize that you will not hurt him, you will not leave Him. This means that you must never turn away from him, be treated with patience, attention.
Neskolko Raz Proveriv Try to move in his rhythm.
Just li with such men? net. Sometimes it can be cold, sometimes it will disappear for a while. No it is only possible to understand that psychophysiological translation, which is vertical, that is on the eastern part of the country.
The main thing in such a relationship is not to get bogged down in the role of a victim or a savior. Always focus on your feelings and desires.
Having understood the reason why a man abandoned the woman he loves, you will be able to soberly assess the situation and, first of all, decide for yourself whether you are ready to fight for this relationship.
In any case, if there is love, respect and care, there is always a chance that you can protect each other and with value.
