Why does a man live at the expense of a woman? Sometimes men sit on the neck of a woman. Someone does it consciously, someone does not even understand what is happening. Do you want to do this and how long is this?
Why does a man live at the expense of a woman?
To build a good relationship in which there will be reciprocity Most of the time, which is private to the site:
- A man repeats his family script
Often people simply copy the behavior pattern that their parents had. If in a man’s family the father also sat on his wife’s neck, did not work, did not take care of the house, then for a person such relationships are something completely normal. He expects his family to be exactly the same.
- You repeat your family script
The opposite situation – the girl grew up in a family where this state of affairs is the norm. She subconsciously absorbed that program and, without realizing it, continues the family scenario.
First, she chooses men similar to her father, and then, in a relationship, she begins to resemble her mother.
- You have had a role reversal
If it seems to you that at the beginning of the relationship, the man was completely different and was not going to sit on your neck, and then, after a while, you switched roles.
Showing sincere concern, women sometimes begin to solve their problems for men, independently make decisions for them, and readily support them financially.
In a family where there is love, it seems quite normal to help each other, especially if a woman knows that she is quite capable of this, that she can solve the problem faster and more efficiently than a man.
As a result, this leads to the fact that a man develops learned helplessness, he loses his problem-solving skills, and begins to rely on a woman in everything.
- The man is a sissy
Often such men were brought up by overprotective mothers, became the meaning of life for them. Such mothers solve all the problems for their sons, unquestioningly serve them until old age, live only a few hours.
What to do if you support your husband?
If a man marries, he sincerely believes that now his wife will take the “EST” baton. In fact, they are waiting for the wife to become the same mother for him.
- Man – Alphonse
Initially, the goal of such a person is not a trusting open relationship, but the opportunity to live at the expense of others. Someone is claiming housing.
At the beginning of communication, they position themselves as successful, financially wealthy people, but then “something is wrong.” They lose their jobs, get into debt, give the apartment to their poor relative, etc.
Often their act seems noble and calls for a desire to pity them, to support them. The woman is sure that this is not for long, and the man will soon get on his feet. No, it’s on you, it’s still there, but it’s not easy.
- A man is subconsciously afraid of responsibility
He is not confident in himself, does not know how to do many things around the house, does not succeed at work, is not ready to make decisions, so he subconsciously hides behind a woman, hoping that she will do all this herself. He needs a strong personality by his side.
In such an alliance, despite the fact that a woman “drags” everything on herself, a man often experiences irritation, begins to criticize, be jealous, quarrels occur from scratch.
A man has an internal conflict, he is angry at his failure, but transfers his discontent to a woman who has succeeded more in life.
- You have low self-esteem
If a girl is compliant, not self-confident, used to ignoring her desires and needs, takes the role of a “victim”, others begin to use it.
When you are ready to do anything to make life easier for a man and keep him close to you, he simply begins to follow the path of least resistance – why should he try to do something when you do everything for him? Such a position is often formed imperceptibly for both of you.
- A man asserts himself at the expense of others
People with an inferiority complex always have serious problems with self-esteem. They painfully react to their mistakes, failures. Subconsciously, they are always dissatisfied with themselves, their social status.
In order to somehow compensate for their failure, they begin to assert themselves at the expense of other people: criticize them, ridicule them, devalue their work and desires, and especially often devalue their achievements.
They need to put someone else down in order to feel better, higher, more important. Therefore, in family life, they often throw phrases: “It’s not a man’s business,” “I’m a breadwinner,” “You just can’t cope with simple duties,” “I won’t work for a pittance,” etc.
They put themselves above a woman, emphasizing their importance against her background.
- A man deliberately manipulates you
Such people want to get comfortable and know how to achieve this. They need a woman not because they love her, but because she can make their life easier. Often they unconsciously choose insecure girls who will be easier to manipulate.
They yuyu share the family yudlight, or feel that she should be spending her family den instead of blyinter. Often in such relationships, we are not talking about sincere feelings or care.
- A man loves only himself
Unlike conscious manipulation, things are a little more complicated with the narcissistic personality. Such a man has a strong tendency to be egocentric, he thinks only of himself.
A man is sincerely convinced that he is more important than everyone else and that if you love him, you should take care of him, support him financially, think about his comfort.
A characteristic feature of such personalities is that they are very offended when you try to defend your boundaries. They immediately make you feel guilty, bad.
Such a man often trades in love: “Don’t you love me at all?”, “You don’t appreciate what I do for you at all”, “Is it hard for you?”, “You don’t care about me”, “Here if you really loved me”, “You only think about yourself”.
Narcissists sincerely do not understand the indignation of those around them, because they often forget that helping with the boicle.
Having figured out the reason why a man sat on your neck, you can understand if there is a chance to fix it and improve your relationship, or if you should stop it.