Why do men like to hurt the women they love knowingly? Today I would like to talk about when a loved one hurts the one he loves. It would seem a rather strange situation, because if you love, you will not do things that are non-tuition.
Why do men like to hurt the women they love knowingly? What can hurt a loved one?
- Sharp words, phrases.
Words can hurt a person even more than specific actions. It happens that a person, in general, does not think about what and how he says, while expressing himself very and rudely. And even with close, beloved people, he does not change his manner and tone.
And it happens that offensive words fly out of the mouth during a quarrel and misunderstanding. In any case, it is always worth holding back and thinking about the speech delivered.
- Closure and silence.
Closeness can offend and bring pain no less than harsh phrases. Pravda molchanie kak Pravilo svyazano s osobennosti character. A person in a state of stress becomes isolated and does not want to communicate. For a partner, such behavior brings pain and discomfort, filling with guilt and misunderstanding.
Inattention towards a partner, rudeness or disrespectful behavior can offend a person. Also worth noting is ridicule, arrogance, unwillingness to hear, inability to appreciate, ingratitude.
A specific act can hurt a partner. There are actions that it makes no sense to even discuss, and it is so clear that this is wrong in relation to the chosen one. And it happens that an act violates the personal boundaries of a person, therefore it brings discomfort.
In order to avoid situations that can affect the harmony in your relationship, it is worth discussing, talking, sharing a lot. At the initial stage, you must indicate what exactly can hurt you and how best not to take revenge on the paw.
Why does a man hurt the woman he loves?
If, nevertheless, you have discussed all the points that can offend, but your man still hurts you with behavior, actions, or just phrases, let’s try to figure out what drives him at this moment, what provokes him to do this.
- He is selfish.
Yes, he loves you, but he loves himself a little more. When he does something, he simply does not think about how you will react to it. He does not care. His personal comfort is much more interesting, so he allows himself to say and do whatever he wants.
- On infantiles.
A man who is not ready to take responsibility for his actions is rightfully considered infantile. He completely denies his guilt and believes that the woman herself came up with a reason for resentment.
- A man is not afraid to lose you.
It also happens that a man loves his chosen one, but he is not at all afraid that he will lose her. To be more precise, he simply does not think about the consequences, does not fully understand the scale of the disaster.
- A man evaluates his actions from a male point of view.
It is difficult for him to understand the female perception of reality. Suppose a woman is very upset when her partner walks until the morning with friends. She is in pain, and she does not understand how else to explain to the chosen one that this is unpleasant for her.
The problem is closed in the room, so that the mouth is on this situation. For him, this is not such a negative state of affairs. That is why, on is not ready to listen to his partner, which offends her even more.
In any case, it is important to understand whether a man hurts a woman knowing it and allowing himself to do so, or it happens completely unconsciously, not on purpose. Depending on this, it is possible to draw certain conclusions about the true attitude of a man towards you.
Other than that, it is necessary for the child to be able to store it. Any little thing can cause inner pain. Often vs reactions are exaggerated. This is due to the peculiarities of character and psychological state.
How to make a man not offended?
In the phrase “a lot depends on the woman” there is a lot of truth. In fact, a woman is able to build a healthy relationship in which a man will listen to her opinion, act with the expectation of the comfort of his chosen one.
To do this, it is necessary to form the right trusting interaction with a partner from the very beginning. Consider the steps on the path to a relationship without resentment and pain:
- Always clearly define personal boundaries.
And the sooner you start building them, the easier it will be for both of you to build an alliance. So it is not necessary to ask for it in one room, but it is not necessary. Of course, a conversation on such topics should be conducted in a calm but convincing manner.
Speak all feelings, which are the ones that are designed by the owners with unprincipled moments. Ask them not to do this again. Make sure your partner understands your position, and not just trying to smooth over the conflict.
- Be consistent.
It is not necessary to pretend to be chaotic, related to emocym. Don’t let yourself overreact to the little things. Consistency lies in gradualness, in common sense. Otherwise, the man will start to think that you are hysterical and will stop paying attention to your requests and will end.
- If necessary, fight back, defend yourself.
Show me that you can’t be treated like this. To extremely unpleasant events, it is worth reacting sharply, but without losing self-control. For example, a man in the company of friends said something offensive in your direction. It hurt so much that you kept silent, trying to hide the tears of resentment.
Of course, you really should not make a scandal, and even with friends. A where it’s nice and you are, it’s not that bad. Only the speech should not be too EMO-rational. Rather, on the contrary, speak harshly, while not offending or hurting anyone.
“What happened today hurt me. Your behavior was unacceptable to me. I wouldn’t want to be in that situation again.” Here is an example of a clear, peremptory position, while not crossing the boundaries of another person.
- Be respectful of the boundaries of your chosen one.
Demanding respect for yourself, demonstrate such behavior yourself. If you do not listen to the partner’s opinion, ignore his requests, he is unlikely to do this as a pom-dru. Both in a pair are a reflection of the chosen one.
- Make a list of agreements.
When it is difficult for people to keep promises and remember all the points that are unpleasant for their partner, they should write a “contract” in which they will thoroughly write down all the points that bother both. Do not try to write the entire contract in one day. It is possible to discuss points gradually.
At the moment when the position is raised, the position is that which is above the boat. You will have to find a compromise. You will understand that in any situation it is worth considering the opinion of both sides. It is reserved for small children, and it is allowed to have other objects.
- Resign or make a decision.
In the case when we have repeatedly explained to the men that either or the situation is unpleasant, but all are Either you will put up with this problem, or you will apply more drastic measures.
At this moment, you should evaluate how hard you perceive the act of the chosen one, whether you are really bo. If so, it may be worth considering, but it is really worth enduring against your comfort.
In fact, every person is able to give up things that hurt a partner. No proishodit this to gda, cogda on really loves and values his relationship. And if the pain of the chosen one is alien, incomprehensible and not interesting to a person, his feelings can hardly be called love.