Why a girl doesn’t write first – 9 reasons after which you will understand everything

Why a girl doesn’t write first – 9 reasons after which you will understand everything. “What… Why does a girl never text me first? But he actively responds! Are you normal at all?” – it was my colleague Misha and I at lunch, and he once again checked the messenger. His new girlfriend doesn’t spoil him with messages.

What, it pisses you off too? Now I’ll tell you why we do this. I am sure that after reading you will no longer be tormented by this unpleasant female feature.


Who are we? – Excuses!

For my favorite critics, I’ll immediately make a reservation – these are not “excuses”. For some reason, guys always forget that girls live with emotions. And the experiences in their head VERY strongly influence the behavior. You can even say that they completely determine how the girl will behave.

There are attitudes driven into the head (like yours – “a man doesn’t cry”), which sometimes even harm, but the algorithm of behavior and reaction has already been so firmly developed that it will not work to change it.

Moreover, such behavior is possible not only at the initial stages of communication. When you are intimate and in a relationship, she may also not bother to text you first, for example, in the morning.

1. Seriousness

If you just exchanged contacts, then she does not write first because she is NOT sure that your intention was really serious, and not the fulfillment of a desire for a dispute. Maybe getting to know her has zero value for you.

2. Habit formation

“If I write to him first now, then it will remain so for the rest of my life. I will take the initiative, and he will only accept. Clever Elsa Syndrome – reinsured against future disappointments.

3. Primitive prey

“He will understand that I am very interested in him and therefore easily accessible. This is unacceptable for a girl who values ​​her dignity and principles.” By the way, this is a very common female trouble.

4. Ancient custom

If you were originally the initiator, then she is used to this state of affairs and is now waiting for the start of communication from you. In short, it happened historically – she waits, you – write first.

5. Retention in the friend zone

Alas, it is beneficial for girls to have a hundred fans in the friend zone. It is also useful for self-esteem and life is more interesting this way. Therefore, another option why the girl does not write to you first is that she wants to keep you longer in the circle of her fan friends.

6. Hunting instinct

Well, the girl really wants you to “hunt” for her – courting, writing, calling. In short, they were active, and she will accept it with pleasure and favor.

7. Boyaca

“What if I write and everything goes wrong? I’ll write “hello” – it will be stupid. What then to write to be as cute and attractive as possible? And not look hungry for male attention ”

8. Verification

The girl wants to be sure that you really like her. A sort of “wait and see” strategy. Did she arouse a sufficient level of interest so as not to fall in love with you desperately and unrequitedly in one gate?


9. Obsession

Another fear is to be intrusive, sticky, annoying. Wouldn’t you think that of her if she wrote first? Is it convenient for you to receive her SMS so early in the morning? Or will it not be distracting during working hours? Will you get annoyed?

If the girl does not respond to messages at all, then I recommend reading my article why (opens in a new window). If she answers quite actively and constantly, then you can exhale – she really likes you and she gives you the green light.

It’s worth it?

10. The most unpleasant point, but I can not keep silent about it. She’s not sure there’s any point or potential in texting first. Talk to her, perhaps you will hear not very pleasant things, but at least you will not waste time and energy in vain.

So, here are 9 (10) reasons why she won’t text you first. I know it can be annoying to feel like you’re the only one putting in the effort in a relationship where the other person is also involved.


But did you notice that this time I did not write HOW to correct the situation. Do you know why? Because I encourage you to be patient. It will not be possible to “force” her to write first. You can allay her fears with the right words. But there is no substitute for enjoying the fact that her knight and her man dominate such a trifle as initiating a conversation. Why a girl doesn’t write first – 9 reasons after which you will understand everything.

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